Living life on purpose

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

 

Top Ten signs of Spring in Iowa

As taken from our local newspaper today:

Top 10 signs of spring

10) Boogers — See those sorry souls with watery eyes wiping their noses with sodden tissues? They have allergies, and spring marks the return of their misery. According to Radio Iowa, the warm winter means the allergy season started even earlier than usual this year.

9) Asian invasion — Remember when you'd never heard of the Japanese ladybugs. Introduced by the U.S. Department of Agriculture in the 1970s and '80s to control insects, they winter in homes and reappear by the bazillions as the weather warms. One gardening Web site suggests baiting them with a slice of apple and storing them live in a sealed cup in the refrigerator. They'll sleep for weeks and can be introduced into your garden in the summer for pest control.

8) Fake bakes — Spring means prom, and prom means girls with man–made tans and pasty–faced dates.

7) Prom dresses — As their tans get richer, the girls' parents get poorer, dropping big bills on gowns that are overpriced and understitched.

6) Walleye — Sure, there are diehards out there who think 10 below is just right for fishing. But average anglers like water in the rivers and ice in their coolers. For them, spring starts when the mercury soars, their Mercury motors roar and the walleye spawn.

5) Kites — Yeah, it's a cliche. But what is more spring–y than a kite wobbling against a clean blue sky?

4) Tractors — Take a drive in the countryside this week and you'll see green John Deeres shaking off the dust of their hibernation and readying for a long summer under the hot sun. Better yet, close your eyes and listen for their thumpy rumble carried on the breeze.

3) Supermarket greenhouses —They pop up overnight, use up parking spaces, and get green thumbs itching to dig in the dirt.

2) Chatter — Common back when playing on a team was more important than acting cool, it has fallen out of favor of late. But on certain windless nights, it's still possible to hear Little Leaguers pounding their mitts, chirping like crickets and sending every pitch toward home with a mighty "Swing, batter."

1) Snow — Enough said.

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